Because, like, every time I like hear an intelligent person say like, like every like two words, a part of me like dies inside.
I heard them at Harvard, MIT, and all over Amsterdam. All layers of society are affected by this terrible neurological disease leading to a verbal tic that is both annoying and a waste of air. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Join me in fighting the epidemic!
EDIT: the situation is so dire that the editor of the Oxford American English Thesaurus found it reasonable to include one of his writers' notes under "like": (I kid you not):