I am a very helpful person. I am genuinely kind and care for others, even when I know they are taking advantage of my good nature. I find it hard to say no, or be rude. Due to this I have been dubbed stupid, naive, gullible, etc. Is it wrong to be nice?

Most of us have learned that it’s good to be nice, that we should put others first, that we should always help them and have a reputable image in front of others. As a matter of concern if you’re frequently seen as a nice person, this is probably the sign that you’ve internalized this way of thinking a bit too well.

The label “nice” reflects something that might appear positive initially, but it will in fact work against you. People will frequently refer to a person who is very accommodating and focused on pleasing others as being “nice”. I’m not against helping others or being kind. I do think however that many people take this too far and end up sacrificing their own needs in order to please others, thinking that this will solve everything in their lives. And unfortunately, that’s very far from the truth.

So the word may sound, well, nice, but it’s a dangerous label to have because it reflects the presence of personal attitudes and behaviours that in the long run will sabotage you.

Fortunately, a nice person reputation can be changed, and the best way to do so is by changing how nice and compliant you really are.

The answer is to put your needs forward more. This can imply spending more time doing what you enjoy, asking more for what you want, saying no to others, being more spontaneous, expressing unpopular opinions or ending toxic relationships. It may not be easy at first, but this is the crucial behavioural step.

As you move from people pleasing to an assertive approach to life, people will see you differently and treat you differently.

You may not be told that you’re “really nice” anymore; you may sometimes be told that you’re “rude” or “selfish”, but you know what? Beyond those labels, you will have healthy relationships with people and a fulfilling life.

Definitely not. But as you said people tend to take advantage of your helpful nature. Well to be honest you need to pick the people you help.

There is a fine line between people who actually need help and people who are just lazy,depend on other people. If you blindly help everyone you'll end up with people depending on you for no reason. You have to analyze the situation as to if the person really needs your help or is just trying to pass on the responsibility to you. Don't help unnecessarily you'll end up hating the idea of helping people or like now you feel, people using you.

Choose wisely and decide to help, just remember not everyone in this world needs our help. You can refuse to help people who are just using you,don't feel bad about refusing help. Sometimes you have to be rude to make people understand.

All the best,continue helping but wisely :)