Go back to your old school, claim to be a highly successful businessman who wants to explain his success, better still claim to be an artist who advocates for the environment, apparently schools are required by law to make kids listen to scientifically illiterate ramblings by people who think that being creative excuses being a follower of Gwyneth Paltrow and claiming that Nitrogen is a poison gas,

Then when the teenagers are in front of you explain that so-called creative and caring subjects and ones with studies in their title equip you only for soul sucking jobs. Tell how instead of learning programming you watched reality TV and most of your leisure reading was about celebrities. Explain also that literally no one ever in their entire lives will care that they were quite good at football.

Recount your average day of misery, your low pay, the absence of any hope of things getting better, and how when you meet attractive people of compatible gender identity they lose interest in you.

When members of the religious group that wasted so much of your time at school explaining their bronze age superstitions and forbidding you to learn forbidden things come to you for money, explain why you have none to spare to fund their victimisation of the next generation of kids.

Apologise to the kids you laughed at and poked fun at for studying.

Then learn Python.