What does it feel like to have a trophy wife?
What does it feel like making so much money or being so successful that a super hot girl is willing to be with you?
Is the fact that she's a trophy wife something that both of you acknowledge or is it something that is under the covers so to speak?
Is the fact that she's a trophy wife something that both of you acknowledge or is it something that is under the covers so to speak?
11 Answers
Anonymous
Views
I'm the type of person who would be the 'target' of a trophy wife, and have been since college (a factor of heritage, name, economics, education, personal characteristics, etc.) despite the fact that I'm a not-particularly-good-loo
After college, I dated an extraordinarily handsome professional woman many years older than I was (not 'pretty' in the sense of what you'd think of as Hollywood 'trophy wife', but the kind of classy timeless beauty that lasts regardless of age (think 'Katherine Hepburn in Philadelphia Story' as opposed to 'Grace Kelly in High Society'). Ours was a relationship based on shared principles and core values, although in every other area (background, personalities, interests, etc.) we were nearly diametric opposites.
After a number of years of an intensely close relationship, we mutually agreed to end it, both because we were so different, and because neither of us had entered the relationship with the idea of marriage in mind at all. We parted ways sadly, but on friendly terms.
I therefore found myself at age 25 in a cosmopolitan city, footloose and fancy free, with all the attributes at hand to attract virtually any woman I might want.
I think I met, was approached by, or introduced to, every woman named Buffy, Vanessa or Whitney; every woman with a classy black velvet headband over straight long hair; every woman who 'worked' at an art gallery, auction house or magazine; every woman who had 'come out' at every top debutante ball during the past decade; and every woman who looked like a supermodel. I dated (and occasionally slept with) Hollywood actresses, models and heiresses.
Sounds like paradise, right?
Wrong. It was a nightmare. Perhaps the most uncomfortable time of my life. Why? Because I felt like I was a walking target for every female between the ages of 18 and 38 who wanted to be a trophy wife!
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But why on earth would I be interested in someone, no matter how gorgeous, who was clearly attracted to me primarily for my money, name or position?
After about a year of this, I thought back to my original relationship, the one based on shared principles and core values, decided that all of the other differences (age, interests, personalities, etc.) were pretty much irrelevant. Having had this epiphany, out of the blue I charged over to her apartment where I proposed on the spot. After she got her jaw off the floor and explained why this wouldn't be a good idea (and got her mother on the phone, who also explained why it wouldn't work!) she finally accepted.
We have been happily married for many decades, have several wonderful children, still have mismatched personalities and no mutual interests...but we still share our principles and core values, and expect to remain married until one of us shuffles off this mortal coil.
And at least for the moment, I'm insulated from all those would-be trophy wives!
After college, I dated an extraordinarily handsome professional woman many years older than I was (not 'pretty' in the sense of what you'd think of as Hollywood 'trophy wife', but the kind of classy timeless beauty that lasts regardless of age (think 'Katherine Hepburn in Philadelphia Story' as opposed to 'Grace Kelly in High Society'). Ours was a relationship based on shared principles and core values, although in every other area (background, personalities, interests, etc.) we were nearly diametric opposites.
After a number of years of an intensely close relationship, we mutually agreed to end it, both because we were so different, and because neither of us had entered the relationship with the idea of marriage in mind at all. We parted ways sadly, but on friendly terms.
I therefore found myself at age 25 in a cosmopolitan city, footloose and fancy free, with all the attributes at hand to attract virtually any woman I might want.
I think I met, was approached by, or introduced to, every woman named Buffy, Vanessa or Whitney; every woman with a classy black velvet headband over straight long hair; every woman who 'worked' at an art gallery, auction house or magazine; every woman who had 'come out' at every top debutante ball during the past decade; and every woman who looked like a supermodel. I dated (and occasionally slept with) Hollywood actresses, models and heiresses.
Sounds like paradise, right?
Wrong. It was a nightmare. Perhaps the most uncomfortable time of my life. Why? Because I felt like I was a walking target for every female between the ages of 18 and 38 who wanted to be a trophy wife!
But why on earth would I be interested in someone, no matter how gorgeous, who was clearly attracted to me primarily for my money, name or position?
After about a year of this, I thought back to my original relationship, the one based on shared principles and core values, decided that all of the other differences (age, interests, personalities, etc.) were pretty much irrelevant. Having had this epiphany, out of the blue I charged over to her apartment where I proposed on the spot. After she got her jaw off the floor and explained why this wouldn't be a good idea (and got her mother on the phone, who also explained why it wouldn't work!) she finally accepted.
We have been happily married for many decades, have several wonderful children, still have mismatched personalities and no mutual interests...but we still share our principles and core values, and expect to remain married until one of us shuffles off this mortal coil.
And at least for the moment, I'm insulated from all those would-be trophy wives!
Anonymous
Views
I'll tell you that it means a never-ending doubt and a disquiet in your mind. Most days, when things are going well you don't think about it, but on days when you've had a setback or just something is keeping you down, you wonder if the person who you are supposedly closest to is really who they are supposed to be. And you think about opportunities lost, or chances not taken.
I have what you might call a trophy wife. She's 14 years younger than me and very attractive. She's every bit my intellectual equal but I did meet her after many great successes in life. I met her at a charity event where I was perhaps ironically flirting with the much-plainer coat check girl and she cockblocked me. I'd already gotten a bit drunk - unsurprisingly, alcohol is a major component of charity events - and I was pissed off that this (frankly) stunningly elegant girl was wasting her time getting in my way when she should be off with her stupid friends so I started following her around the rest of the event and trying to make her life difficult. Frankly she was not the sort of girl I usually thought of as being in my league at the time but I was drunk and after quite a bit of jibes and back and forth, our mutual hostility turned to flirting and then lunch the next day and a few months later she was meeting my parents and we were engaged. What's funny is that looking back many years later through a different lens, I remember clearly now that it was she who first proposed lunch the next day.
The engagement and time leading up to the wedding was a heady time and I was busy with my work where I'd taken a new VP position and it didn't even occur to me that she might want me for anything other than my charms. It seems silly now, but you have to remember a man's ego will blind him to anything. Like most men, I was happy to leave the wedding preparations to her and her mom (who is also a looker, and very nice - we do get along very well). At the time I just thought my life was finally turning up roses after decades of work and that pretty girls were starting to notice me. If you are a late bloomer you know what I'm talking about.
Fast forward a few years... my wife is still my wife, and she is always loving and sweet, but you know she enjoys shopping quite a bit, takes just a BIT too much glee in showing off her new handbags to her friends (some of them old friends she knew before she met me) and giggling about it. I can't say anything much about it because it's not like it impacts the cash flow, but... there is doubt.
The worst thing, and I feel guilty saying this, is that in college and a couple years after, I had a girlfriend who I knew loved me for me, before I made any money. She adored me and I adored her, we studied together (we were in the same major), we made plans to be married soon in the years after we finished school, we even had names picked out for our kids for chrissakes. But then it didn't happen. My career began to take off and I started spending a lot of time at the office, hanging out with colleagues at off-hours networking events, and we spent more time doing different things and grew apart. Eventually she got a job offer in another city and even though we said we'd stay in touch, we drifted apart pretty quickly.
I think about her from time to time, and wonder what my life would have been like had we stayed together. I'd probably be less successful, but I wouldn't have these little doubts. My wife is pretty hot and she says she loves me and she does everything right, but I've learned there is a thing called men's intuition so you always have doubts. They never go away.
Edit: I am truly surprised and it warms my heart how many people have upvoted this! Just to clarify - I truly love my wife and believe that she loves me too. We have been together 5 wonderful years and are very happy together. My answer was only intended to speak to the question raised, and doesn't constitute the majority of how I feel about our relationship. Again, thank you to everyone who upvoted this (now I have some credits to go do some Ask To Answers on questions I've needed answering) and those of you who have said nice to me via private messages.
I have what you might call a trophy wife. She's 14 years younger than me and very attractive. She's every bit my intellectual equal but I did meet her after many great successes in life. I met her at a charity event where I was perhaps ironically flirting with the much-plainer coat check girl and she cockblocked me. I'd already gotten a bit drunk - unsurprisingly, alcohol is a major component of charity events - and I was pissed off that this (frankly) stunningly elegant girl was wasting her time getting in my way when she should be off with her stupid friends so I started following her around the rest of the event and trying to make her life difficult. Frankly she was not the sort of girl I usually thought of as being in my league at the time but I was drunk and after quite a bit of jibes and back and forth, our mutual hostility turned to flirting and then lunch the next day and a few months later she was meeting my parents and we were engaged. What's funny is that looking back many years later through a different lens, I remember clearly now that it was she who first proposed lunch the next day.
The engagement and time leading up to the wedding was a heady time and I was busy with my work where I'd taken a new VP position and it didn't even occur to me that she might want me for anything other than my charms. It seems silly now, but you have to remember a man's ego will blind him to anything. Like most men, I was happy to leave the wedding preparations to her and her mom (who is also a looker, and very nice - we do get along very well). At the time I just thought my life was finally turning up roses after decades of work and that pretty girls were starting to notice me. If you are a late bloomer you know what I'm talking about.
Fast forward a few years... my wife is still my wife, and she is always loving and sweet, but you know she enjoys shopping quite a bit, takes just a BIT too much glee in showing off her new handbags to her friends (some of them old friends she knew before she met me) and giggling about it. I can't say anything much about it because it's not like it impacts the cash flow, but... there is doubt.
The worst thing, and I feel guilty saying this, is that in college and a couple years after, I had a girlfriend who I knew loved me for me, before I made any money. She adored me and I adored her, we studied together (we were in the same major), we made plans to be married soon in the years after we finished school, we even had names picked out for our kids for chrissakes. But then it didn't happen. My career began to take off and I started spending a lot of time at the office, hanging out with colleagues at off-hours networking events, and we spent more time doing different things and grew apart. Eventually she got a job offer in another city and even though we said we'd stay in touch, we drifted apart pretty quickly.
I think about her from time to time, and wonder what my life would have been like had we stayed together. I'd probably be less successful, but I wouldn't have these little doubts. My wife is pretty hot and she says she loves me and she does everything right, but I've learned there is a thing called men's intuition so you always have doubts. They never go away.
Edit: I am truly surprised and it warms my heart how many people have upvoted this! Just to clarify - I truly love my wife and believe that she loves me too. We have been together 5 wonderful years and are very happy together. My answer was only intended to speak to the question raised, and doesn't constitute the majority of how I feel about our relationship. Again, thank you to everyone who upvoted this (now I have some credits to go do some Ask To Answers on questions I've needed answering) and those of you who have said nice to me via private messages.
It felt great. At the time, it was amazing. Made me feel like the winner I always wanted to be.
My wife was a few years older than me, but clearly the most beautiful woman in almost every scene. Men would turn their heads and get jabbed or worse by their wives, every time we walked into a restaurant, bar or casino.
She had class, super model good looks, and a figure other women would kill for. Of course she did kill for it, by working out two hours a day. Never said no to anything I wanted, whenever I wanted it. Initiated on a regular basis.
She loved me, of this I am sure, but we both knew, the minute the money dried up, she would be gone. And she was, though not entirely of her own accord.
We have stayed in contact off and on for the past ten years, and the years haven't been kind to her. Still, she was one of my greatest mistakes, and will never leave my memories.
A perfect woman in every way, except for one.
My wife was a few years older than me, but clearly the most beautiful woman in almost every scene. Men would turn their heads and get jabbed or worse by their wives, every time we walked into a restaurant, bar or casino.
She had class, super model good looks, and a figure other women would kill for. Of course she did kill for it, by working out two hours a day. Never said no to anything I wanted, whenever I wanted it. Initiated on a regular basis.
She loved me, of this I am sure, but we both knew, the minute the money dried up, she would be gone. And she was, though not entirely of her own accord.
We have stayed in contact off and on for the past ten years, and the years haven't been kind to her. Still, she was one of my greatest mistakes, and will never leave my memories.
A perfect woman in every way, except for one.
Anonymous
Views
I’ve never had a trophy wife, but I’ve had a few trophy girlfriends and didn’t particularly appreciate the experiences (though I definitely enjoyed my time with the women).
One of the women, Patricia, was so drop-dead gorgeous that men would come up to me (e.g. when she went to the ladies’ room) and ask me if they saw her in Playboy. Women would trip over themselves to flirt with me behind her back (something that seldom happened when Pat wasn’t around). When we dined out I was never sure if we’d be receiving exceptional or horrible service. (She was one of those women that other women tended to immediately hate).
My “problem” with Pat was that I was too insecure to fall in love with her. Pat was used to men falling at her feet and the more aloof I was, the harder she chased me. As far as Pat was concerned no man could resist her and the more I resisted, the more energy she put into winning me over. One day I woke up and realized I’d painted myself into a corner. At that point I was convinced that the day I stopped holding out was the day Pat would lose interest in me.
Oddly enough, the only way I was able to convince Pat to give up on me was to tell her (honestly) that I was starting to date, Angela, my office manager. Pat lived across the country and whenever she visited my office she’d comment on how beautiful Angela was. (I guess in Pat’s mind her only competition was a woman even more beautiful than she was).
Angela was very beautiful, but not nearly as “stunning” as Pat. I ended up living with Angela for a few years but that relationship suffered from a unique glitch. For years Angela refused to go out with me. In part because she worked for me, and in part because (I believe) she wasn’t overly attracted to me. After seeing me show up with so many interesting, attractive, (and sometimes) wealthy women I think Angela started figuring that all those women saw something that she didn’t. While our time together was (in my opinion) quite wonderful, I never felt that Angela “discovered” whatever it was that the other women found so desirable about me. Such is life...
The last experience was with a beautiful, much younger Japanese woman who genuinely loved me, didn’t care about the age difference, and earned more money than I did. I believe it was my karma that doomed that relationship. For years, whenever I saw an old guy with a younger Asian woman I’d think the pathetic old coot bought himself a “mail order bride” who was only with him to get out of her country and get a green card. It didn’t help that Yuki attracted lots of attention wherever we went. Eventually, my problem with feeling like a “pathetic old coot” got to me.
I’m happy to say that I married a very lovely woman who will never be mistaken for a trophy bride and that, thanks to her, my life (which has always been wonderful) is better than it’s ever been.
One of the women, Patricia, was so drop-dead gorgeous that men would come up to me (e.g. when she went to the ladies’ room) and ask me if they saw her in Playboy. Women would trip over themselves to flirt with me behind her back (something that seldom happened when Pat wasn’t around). When we dined out I was never sure if we’d be receiving exceptional or horrible service. (She was one of those women that other women tended to immediately hate).
My “problem” with Pat was that I was too insecure to fall in love with her. Pat was used to men falling at her feet and the more aloof I was, the harder she chased me. As far as Pat was concerned no man could resist her and the more I resisted, the more energy she put into winning me over. One day I woke up and realized I’d painted myself into a corner. At that point I was convinced that the day I stopped holding out was the day Pat would lose interest in me.
Oddly enough, the only way I was able to convince Pat to give up on me was to tell her (honestly) that I was starting to date, Angela, my office manager. Pat lived across the country and whenever she visited my office she’d comment on how beautiful Angela was. (I guess in Pat’s mind her only competition was a woman even more beautiful than she was).
Angela was very beautiful, but not nearly as “stunning” as Pat. I ended up living with Angela for a few years but that relationship suffered from a unique glitch. For years Angela refused to go out with me. In part because she worked for me, and in part because (I believe) she wasn’t overly attracted to me. After seeing me show up with so many interesting, attractive, (and sometimes) wealthy women I think Angela started figuring that all those women saw something that she didn’t. While our time together was (in my opinion) quite wonderful, I never felt that Angela “discovered” whatever it was that the other women found so desirable about me. Such is life...
The last experience was with a beautiful, much younger Japanese woman who genuinely loved me, didn’t care about the age difference, and earned more money than I did. I believe it was my karma that doomed that relationship. For years, whenever I saw an old guy with a younger Asian woman I’d think the pathetic old coot bought himself a “mail order bride” who was only with him to get out of her country and get a green card. It didn’t help that Yuki attracted lots of attention wherever we went. Eventually, my problem with feeling like a “pathetic old coot” got to me.
I’m happy to say that I married a very lovely woman who will never be mistaken for a trophy bride and that, thanks to her, my life (which has always been wonderful) is better than it’s ever been.
Frank Goad,
Views
What does it feel like? It feels like your wallet is more important than your ... you know, that guy. There are gorgeous women who have good hearts, but when you've been able to flip your hair or bite your lower lip and get anything you want, you know that you're not necessarily in charge. It was once said that many men marry beautiful women to keep other men from getting them. Trophy wife? A trophy is an award for an achievement. When it comes to a lasting, rewarding relationship, spoiled people need not apply.
