What is it like to be someone with Asperger's on MDMA (ecstasy)?
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It's great. While I'm on it, I feel relaxed and socially fluent. I always know what to say. I like people, and it's hard NOT to pay attention to them. I understand that many people are open to random conversations, and if they aren't, that's ok — it will be easy to tell. After struggling socially my whole life, this fluency is bliss.
But even when the high is over, I believe that my experiences on MDMA have given me long-term (perhaps permanent) benefits for which I'm very thankful.
The first way I've benefited is from exposure to ways of thinking/perceiving that aren't my defaults. On MDMA, I'm fully out of my head. I consider this to be the "opposite side of the spectrum" as compared to autism. That allowed me to see the "direction" in which neurotypical minds exist relative to mine. By later remembering this way of being, I'm able to emulate it to an extant; it's helpful to have a specific goal in mind to strive for. Before trying MDMA, I didn't know what things were supposed to be like.
Second, it de-conditions my social anxiety. Maybe from when I was a kid, my instinctual expectation for random social interactions is that they will go badly. This stress only makes it worse. On MDMA, that conditioning is in fact reversed, because I'm able to have a lot of very successful, positive social interactions with friends and strangers.
These benefits came from using it only a few times. I still take it occasionally (maybe ten experiences total), but it's for the local effect, not the long-term benefits.
But even when the high is over, I believe that my experiences on MDMA have given me long-term (perhaps permanent) benefits for which I'm very thankful.
The first way I've benefited is from exposure to ways of thinking/perceiving that aren't my defaults. On MDMA, I'm fully out of my head. I consider this to be the "opposite side of the spectrum" as compared to autism. That allowed me to see the "direction" in which neurotypical minds exist relative to mine. By later remembering this way of being, I'm able to emulate it to an extant; it's helpful to have a specific goal in mind to strive for. Before trying MDMA, I didn't know what things were supposed to be like.
Second, it de-conditions my social anxiety. Maybe from when I was a kid, my instinctual expectation for random social interactions is that they will go badly. This stress only makes it worse. On MDMA, that conditioning is in fact reversed, because I'm able to have a lot of very successful, positive social interactions with friends and strangers.
These benefits came from using it only a few times. I still take it occasionally (maybe ten experiences total), but it's for the local effect, not the long-term benefits.
I've been diagnosed by multiple doctors with Asperger's (now known as ASD). I've done various kinds of E, including sassafras, molly, h-bombs, and speedy pressies. Effects varied, but were always pleasurable. The amount of pleasure varied from moderate to wonderful, but I usually took other drugs in combination, especially LSD.
I highly recommend http://www.ecstasydata.or
I highly recommend http://www.ecstasydata.or
My answer likely is not tue for most people with autism spectrum disorders. I have never met anyone who has the same effects from MDMA that I get.
MDMA has absolutely no effect on me. I have used it several times, and have never had any noticable effect from it.
At one point I purchased 100 pills to sell, I sold a few, the people who took them said they were very good. I was told that one pill would be all anyone needed. Several people agreed about that. So I took 3 of them. An hour later I had no effect, so I took 4 more. No effect. All the people who saw me take them were shocked that I wasn't rolling around on the floor.
People started to ask me if I felt any specific effect, my normal answer was "yeah, but I feel like that all the time". I found myself making that statement about every normal effect of MDMA. People began to rub my head to see if it felt great, I said "of course it does, it feels great whether I'm on anything or not, there's no difference". They began to wave bright lights around in front of me. Same thing.
I ended up getting irritated because nothing was happening, so I took 6 adderall's. Those worked great and I've never had any desire to waste my time on MDMA since then. Before this incident, I had no idea that other people didn't feel things the way I do. It was very surprising to me, and I can't imagine how empty life would seem without feeling the way I do. I feel sorry for people who need to take something to get the effects that I've come to take for granted.
I thought about this a lot afterwards and realized that I have always been like this. The sensation I get when another person lightly touches me can be almost overwhelming. As long as I can remember I have always been ticklish everywhere, and certain touches can nearly incapacitate me. Its normally a pleasant experience though.
I'm not sure if this has anything to do with asperger's or ADD. Its just how I am. I'm naturally like that without it, so to me, taking it is useless.
MDMA has absolutely no effect on me. I have used it several times, and have never had any noticable effect from it.
At one point I purchased 100 pills to sell, I sold a few, the people who took them said they were very good. I was told that one pill would be all anyone needed. Several people agreed about that. So I took 3 of them. An hour later I had no effect, so I took 4 more. No effect. All the people who saw me take them were shocked that I wasn't rolling around on the floor.
People started to ask me if I felt any specific effect, my normal answer was "yeah, but I feel like that all the time". I found myself making that statement about every normal effect of MDMA. People began to rub my head to see if it felt great, I said "of course it does, it feels great whether I'm on anything or not, there's no difference". They began to wave bright lights around in front of me. Same thing.
I ended up getting irritated because nothing was happening, so I took 6 adderall's. Those worked great and I've never had any desire to waste my time on MDMA since then. Before this incident, I had no idea that other people didn't feel things the way I do. It was very surprising to me, and I can't imagine how empty life would seem without feeling the way I do. I feel sorry for people who need to take something to get the effects that I've come to take for granted.
I thought about this a lot afterwards and realized that I have always been like this. The sensation I get when another person lightly touches me can be almost overwhelming. As long as I can remember I have always been ticklish everywhere, and certain touches can nearly incapacitate me. Its normally a pleasant experience though.
I'm not sure if this has anything to do with asperger's or ADD. Its just how I am. I'm naturally like that without it, so to me, taking it is useless.
